Thursday, March 20, 2014

A Parody Of Annoying Poetry

Twisting up the tallest spires at San Motmorgne,
in Andreabouregeaux, 
on the murky Ellehoubbhe River,
I smoked a dry cigarette
and let my thoughts linger on the crisp evening sky
and the crowded markets at Myschke-et-Sousonvearl,
where the stone-walled halls brim with fine laughing ladies,
who joke, as they always do, about the ambiguous statues in
St. Marie-Chrestentonvilles,
in the southern plains of Lhopsodrosia—
the echoing of the ladies' droll laughter is to me 
like the harmonious singing of the samurai tenor-barbers
at Heiji-chen-komuru.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

(Fake) BuzzFeed List Of 6 (Fake) 'Onion' Headlines!

1. "BuzzFeed Writer Dreams Of One Day Authoring The Next Great American List"

2. "Like All 43 Previous Presidents, Barack Obama Has Now Successfully Masturbated In Every Single Room In The White House"

3. "Real-Life Plane Gets Lost Where 'Lost' Plane Got Lost"

4. "Russia Gonna Do Russia"

5. "Editorial: All 758 Of These Tattoos Are Special To Me"

6. "Despairing BuzzFeed Freelancer Writes SEO-Friendly Suicide List"